The film begins with one of the sorriest title songs in the history of cinema which serves as an ominous indication of the horrors this movie is set to serve up. The song "Kissed by Yesterday" itself is enough to get any audience screaming in sheer horror, but as it turns out, the song is perhaps the most competent aspect of an otherwise dire affair. The local Drive-in of a typical Hicksville USA is the stage for the ghastly events of this ultra cheap, z-grade schlocker.

In the opening scenes, randy couples make out in their cars oblivious to a sword wielding psycho who is prowling around in search of fresh victims. A young mans head is brutally hacked off and then moments later his girlfriends suspiciously stocking-like neck is penetrated by the glistening sword amidst a flurry of homemade kitchen sink gore effects. The laughably inept murder scene sets the tone for the 68 minute of crud that follows. The director desperately tries to conjure up some semblance of suspense by shoving some ridiculously obvious red herrings in the audience's direction but this has little effect in elevating the movie from the garbage pail it belongs to.

Everything about the movie is so utterly inept, and the acting so woefully rotten that it nearly succeeds in attaining a certain cult status - however its sheer lack of charm entirely disqualifies it from even that would be saving grace. Drive-in Massacre comes across as somebody's very poor amateur home movie featuring a batch of unpaid acquaintances. The gore effects couldn't have cost even $20, which was no doubt the major expense incurred during production (other than basic film stock). The nasty bald manager of the Drive-in is made the prime suspect along with the moronic usher Jeremy, both of whom used to swallow swords in their earlier days - makes them more suspicious!?!

couldn't even spell the name of the movie!

One of the many astoundingly cheap aspects of this tacky piece of garbage is the horrendous background music (if it can be called that) which consists largely of an annoying Casio tone-like keyboard set to a beat irritating clicking sounds like those made by a faulty electric typewriter. The second death scene involves an impaling with the sword of what is very clearly a stuffed pillow attempting to pass off as a persons back! The special effects of this stinker defy description they are so utterly and shamelessly inept and the film ends so abruptly that one suspects that the producers ran out of film stock and couldn't be bothered to invest in any more (a wise decision)…so the film just ended!

Easily the best thing about this insanely awful piece of festering cow-dung is that its running time is mercifully short, clocking in at less than 70 minutes. Having said that, the 70 minutes of Drive-in Massacre are so appallingly abysmal that even a fifth of that time would still be too long to suffer. Just to put into perspective the absolute incompetence of the film makers involved in creating this atrocity…they couldn't even spell the name of their movie correctly! It is difficult to recall a film as utterly dismal as this one - quite possibly the worst film we have ever come across which would normally represent the highest praise in our book, but this film is bereft of even an iota of charm or quirkiness that would render it even remotely endearing. Shocking only in that the filmmakers could have had the audacity to actually expect people to pay to watch this drivel, and some of us even paid money to buy the laser disc of this monstrosity of unprecedented atrociousness. Quite simply, beyond dreadful.