Just when you though things couldn’t possibly get any worse (Twentynine Palms) along came the gay themed Ballroom Dancing – arguably the most tedious artsy piffle ever captured on film.

The film follows the wholly uninteresting lives of two ageing gay clones who live in an old run down former Ballroom and slowly one of them begins to spiral into a breakdown of sorts – having hallucinations of himself emerging from the dark corners of the ballroom wearing a ridiculous fixed grin and bunny rabbit ears! This double proceeds to enliven proceedings by making (obviously hugely) symbolic plucking motions with his fingers and breaking into a dance routine that had the audience grimacing in mixture of agony and shock. If that wasn’t enough, the pseudo queen with rabbit ears also proceeds to pick up imaginary items from the floor and put them into his imaginary bag of tricks – all far too profound and way too intellectual for anyone to come to terms with least of all a simpleton as myself.

Not only was the film utterly incomprehensible, it was an excruciating and unpardonable bore. Once again the end which seemed an eternity in arriving, felt like one had been reprimanded after a life time of waiting on Death Row. Though some influential publications have had generous words for the film, us mere mortals were pulverized into submission by the incredible tedium of the film. Give us a trashy but entertaining Hollywood film any day rather than a pretentious piece of hot air proclaiming itself as a work of art. An excruciatingly, almost mind-numbingly dull experience.