I remember being totally entranced by the billboard artwork for Parvez Rana's Anjuman vehicle Jatti Da Vair back in the sticky summer of 2000…hanging around the lobby of the Naaz cinema in Rawalpindi, pretending to take pictures of the lobby cards and posters while actually partaking in a serious session of loitering, hoping to catch an eyeful of the pyrotechnics on screen. The Billboard outside featured a 75 foot Anj drenched in blood, wielding a mean looking AK 47 and the filthiest of looks as well as a handbag cause you never know when a girl might take a time out for a bit of shopping!

After the deliciously warped chunk of feminism that director Rana unleashed earlier in the year in the shape of Jug Mahi, one was drooling in anticipation of more maniacal happenings with the majestic Anjuman at the helm. Alas Jatti da Vair was so run of the mill that even Anjuman's die hard fans stayed away forcing her to reconsider her proposed comeback. Jatti da Vair struggled at the Box Office (despite a good run at the above mentioned Naaz) causing losses to all concerned with the film.

The story of the film is the same old turgid nonsense about village rivalries and demented machismo. The twist is that Anjuman plays the strongman character that used to be reserved for Sultan Rahi throughout the 80's - but it just doesn't work, at least not this time around. Jatti suffers on several counts; Firstly there are far too many plot threads to disentangle along the way, secondly there is far too much padding in the form of endless stretches of "comic relief"and thirdly, the film has the look of a very dated, faded piece of celluloid crap from the early 80's - though perhaps that's being too polite! After her excellent performance in Jug Mahi, Anjuman really does go way over the top this time around and her dialogue delivery which is supposed to pack a mighty punch, actually has the audience giggling in embarrassment. Sadly, in this film far more so than in Jug Mahi, it appears that age has truly caught up with Anj in that not only are the wrinkles showing through but she has also seriously bulked up and the layers of fat are oozing from all the wrong places.

Meanwhile young Sana shows exactly why she is being tipped to take over from the sagging Saima in years to come. She has everything that Lollywood requires - may not be able to act to save her life, but that is of little concern. Sana features in a couple of saucy numbers and displays her mastery of the super-cheap, Lollywood bum wriggling two-step. Sana is paired with Moamar Rana in this film and though she has been given the sleazy numbers to perform, he has absolutely nothing to do but pretend to be fascinated by Sana's pelvic gyrations. The songs are perhaps the strongest aspect of an otherwise very lame effort. The film doesn't really have a cohesive plot and characters seem to drift in and out of proceedings. Saud has a crush on Anjuman but doesn't have much to do in the film until he returns for what must be one of the most hysterical court scenes ever to be filmed. He also happens to look young enough to be Anjuman's son and now one understands why the Lahori's shouted down last years Peengan in which the two were paired romantically. Arbaz Khan has a short role with little to do and in fact no body has much to do other than the girls who have been given plenty of cheap numbers to perform (Sana, Deedar and Khushboo doing the honours) and Anjuman who turns in surely one of the ugliest performances of her career.

There is a quite nauseating and reprehensible scene in Jatti da Vair which makes it a totally unacceptable film, even for a bit of a laugh. There is a scene when a young bride is forced to marry Arbaz Khan (Jatti Anjuman's brother) and on the night of her wedding she runs away with the man she has always loved. When the two are fleeing they are met by a demented Jatti who shows them exactly what the "honourable" thing to do to a woman who chooses to take her own destiny in her hands. The fleeing girl and her beau are lacerated and bludgeoned to death by the "ghairatmand" Jatti - an act which the audiences are supposed to clap and cheer as being heroic and representative of a religion that preaches tolerance and compassion? It is a nauseating scene, absolutely sickening to the pit of the stomach - and so disappointing that a person of the stature of Anjuman could ever have accepted such a piece of misogynous garbage.

So, the lesson at the end of the day is that never judge a movie by its billboard art as even the finest artwork can lead to an utterly repellent stinker within! The catch phrase of the movie basically sums it up rather well; "Jatti da Vair, Allah Khair, Allah Khair"! (Heaven Help Jatti da Vair).