Just when one thought that you had witnessed the lowest point of cinematic atrocity along comes another one to remind you that you had actually only just scratched the surface. Baghawat which was made in the last few days before the dark days of military dictatorship (beginning in the summer of 1977) is a complete mess from beginning to end. The film is supposedly set during colonial rule though one would never have guessed from what is on view. The nasty "Britishers" (a favourite expression in these parts) are busy meting out their justice as the colonial power and distributing power to their local Paki lackeys - their chamcha's. When the atrocities by the foreigners and their lackeys reaches intolerable levels the local earthy types start a revolution led by the people's (c)hunk, the sturdy Iqbal Hassan and his mates Nanna and co.

Iqbal Hassan plays Akber and he and his best mate start the revolution that eventually sees the nation being liberated from the oppressive rule of those interfering gora's. What unfolds on screen is a murky, muddled mess of confusion from beginning to end - nothing makes sense at all other than the obvious fact that Najma and Nazli have the hots for Akber and Anwer. Between the comically staged multitude of fight scenes, murky chase scenes, confrontations, rape attempts and the usual hum drum posturing there are however some sparklingly lewd and splendidly vulgar dances to provide some much needed relief from what is otherwise a mortifyingly tedious experience. We did after all select this film for viewing having been previously familiar with the wonderfully cheap Madame Noor Jehan numbers contained within.

The first of the dance numbers is a rather average number picturized on one of Lollwood's famous Heera Mandi Lollywood dancers Nazli who has a very prominent role in the movie, for what its worth! The second song is an old favourite Hijihijihamba sung delectably by Madame Noor Jehan who was clearly in her element in the mid 70's and truly relished the raunchy, vulgar dance numbers providing her own brand of guttural orgasmic sound effects as enhancement along the way - glorious stuff indeed. Who we reckon is Mizla provides a supremely cheap number and thrusts and jerks around in the most lusciously crude and suggestive manner. Her outfit is one of those Lollywood patented designs created to enhance the panty line effect and in this regard the Mizla dance number doesn't disappoint. This time the song to accompany Mizla's gyrations is another wonderfully cheap Madame ji effort Belia Don't Vurree (Worry)!

But just when we were beginning to wonder if our favourite song had been chopped by the censors, there it arrived in all its deliciously smutty glory picturized on a Heera Mandi girl who looks the spitting image of Benazir, and some would perhaps contend that it is indeed the ex (and perhaps future) Prime Minister of the Land of the Pure. The great song, complete with orgasmic grunts and groans is one of Madame ji's all time classic cheap numbers….Oh My Dear….One two three I'm Free and features the lusciously cheap beauty with shaved eyebrows in an outfit that is entirely see through and boy does she wiggle and thrust that pelvis ever so lewdly. I shall forever be proud of having recognized the brilliance of the song and purchased it as a demented teen ager way back when the film came out - yes we used to go out to the record shops and demand to listen to ALL the vulgar and cheap songs so that we could add to our collection. Now, that is true pedigree. Alas the days of vinyl records are long gone and part of nostalgia though we have still got a smattering of a cherished collection laying somewhere and the 45 of Baghawat ranks high for sheer cheapness.

In fact the sleazy, smutty dances are the only thing that renders the film even remotely watchable but a remote control is absolutely necessary in order to avoid the numerous tortuously dull scenes that make up the majority of this dull fest. Of the performers Iqbal Hassan tries earnestly even though his relationship with buddy anwer is a touch too obsessive to be considered completely healthy. The fellow who plays anwer is a total drip and it's lucky we don't know who he is otherwise we would have lacerated him further. Of the girls Najma is spunky and bounces around in her dance numbers but is out done by the perky Nazli who is given a song more (The delectable Hiji-giji-hamba song) than the leading lady. Parveen Boby, or is it Booby (?!) makes a short (too short) and sweet appearance and Mizla and especially the Benazir (Bhutto) look-alike shine with their sleazy, raunchy dances. However even the cheapness factor and the sleazy dances can't mask the fact that this film really is the pits. This can only be recommended for sleaze hounds and those who appreciate the fine art of the vulgar Lollywood dances.